Are toxic relationships stopping you from getting it done?

⚠️ Romantic relationships with unhealthy/toxic people are perfect for procrastinating and avoiding GETTING THINGS DONE.

Every time you don’t feel like doing something that you really want to get done (so you can live that life of your dreams once and for all) you just go push the “ACTIVATE DRAMA” button and voila, instead of healthy, life-giving, forward-moving productivity, your day is now filled with:

💥 huge blowups, tears, intense emotion

💥 conversations that last all day, leave you exhausted, and don’t really go anywhere productive

💥 tension that now has you unable to focus or concentrate (it maybe even has you going straight for your own numbing/toxic habits … see the pattern here?)

OK so your day is now full of reasons not to do the things you say you wanted to get done (so that you can live that better life you dream of) which, if you’re really honest with yourself,

you weren’t EVER really able to get done even before you met this unhealthy/toxic person you’re now in romantic relationship with,

but now you’ve really got someone to actually blame AND if this person is uber toxic, you may even have some serious problems on your hands now that will keep you distracted away from that dream life now for years and years. Keeping you away from creating and living that dream life you say you want.

❤️❤️❤️ Listen, I say all of this with so much LOVE, knowing we don’t choose to fall into this pattern consciously … knowing very well this kind of shiz only happens in the land of the subconscious…and that it’s not fun and super scary at times and beyond frustrating!!!

—-because I know your heart knows what is possible for you, what kind of life you’re meant for even, if you could only free yourself from such messes <—*exactly* how I felt 😩

and it’s also my life’s mission to share why and how this happens, so we can transcend it all, and actually see our dream life manifested here on the physical plane —instead of in the land of “someday” or “if only” or “when this changes, then I can get it done.”

🤯 The truth is, looking at those underlying reasons why we’re not getting those things done that manifest the dream life, then shifting that inner foundation is the ONLY THING that needs to happen.

And this happens with ourselves alone. Nobody else.

It actually doesn’t matter how anyone else behaves around us when we do this, even if you’re quarantined in a tiny apartment with them right now.

🌟 Everything you want to create in your life begins inside of you – how you think/feel determines what you do/don’t do, and your actions/behaviours either build the life you want to be living, or they don’t. 🌟

✅ it’s really that simple ✅

And if you’re caught in unhealthy cycles that you’ve stayed in for years, or you perpetuate/participate in yourself, don’t beat yourself up! DO THIS INSTEAD…

✅ Go inward, instead of replaying old patterns outwardly.

✅ Have compassion for yourself (and eventually that other person) because our nervous systems are literally PROGRAMMED to react when we’re triggered, in ways that don’t exactly create harmony with others (run away, freeze up/avoid, and the good ol’ fight reflex)

✅ Then MASTER transcending this stuff like a mofo, by shifting those deep patterns, because that’s where all your manifesting power lies.

Because if there was ever a TO DO list that needed getting done, it’s this one.

🏆 Because we are the director of our outer circumstances!

Nothing, nobody, no circumstance decides how our life plays out for us.

It’s only us, dealing with or not dealing with, the inner landscape that wombs and eventually births it all.

~Gina

Are you getting things done?

ARE YOU GETTING THINGS DONE?

I’m not talking about laundry or loading the dishwasher because really, #whocares

✅ ✅ ✅ I’m talking about completing those things that add up to the fulfillment of your life’s purpose, so that you feel complete and whole at the end of your blessed life here on earth.

📚 💰Like finishing that book and/or launching your online business to create that passive income you’ve always wanted.

We all have a list of such things, things that really matter to us, that aren’t getting done.

One of the main reasons is because of the bad reps the word “hustle” is getting … I’ve even heard it being called “abusive” … HUH?! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ !!!

Now as a woman who pushed herself to over-achieve and work work work (in the counselling and coaching field) much of her life, because I didn’t yet know how to manage intense emotions and make sense of my own past life experiences enough to live in balance,

I get it … there’s a time and place and space to rest and heal that shiz, for sure.

…BUT, I mean giving ourselves a comfort pass every day ?? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ !!!

💣 truth is, it’s up to us to move through those periods and master the art of healthy productivity, no matter what.

How will we ever see our life’s vision actually physically manifest on this planet if we’re labelling “getting it done” energy abusive?

Or poo-poo’ing ourselves with how much comfort we need during times we’re meant to be hustling and moving forward in solid productive action?

🌺🌺🌺 Again, yes there’s a time and place and space to be carved for healing what happened in the past,

but a lot of this is just wounding us women have experienced (often by gruff, abusive, slave driving type men and systems) that has not been healed,

so we’re projecting it outward and using it to stop ourselves from living in our full power….and giving our power away to the past instead.

So this allowing of old energies to continue on and infect the rest of our lives in which we’re meant to be rising like warriors to full, soul-fulfilling completion?

NUH.

It’s got to stop … in the name of your freedom to live how you were born to live.

Just get it done, my Loves!

~Gina

Are you listening for what matters to your success?

I hated the smell of beer and how dark the pubs were…

…but I sat there, in the middle of my twentieth year, with my red-headed best friend, and told her, right there in the middle of my follow-everyone-else’s-rules life—I told her:

“I saw a poster today that woke up my soul.”

Neither of us were openly spiritual, not yet, and we rarely talked about anything too deep, especially not in pubs, but the words flew out of me, and,

before all the insecure girl defences we both usually wore—the ones that made us feel we were too cool for it all—shot up to protect us,

she smiled one of her full-toothed smiles that made her the friend I loved most in the world, a smile that appeared so rarely, but with enough power to rise us both above the heavy things. Like the too-young death of her father. Like losing my first love in a flash.

“Silvestri, you better tell me all about it,” she said.

Then I explained that an organization called The Women’s Enterprise Society of B.C. was giving out grants to young women wanting to start new businesses.

We were smack in the middle of finishing our university degrees, doing exactly what our parents wanted for us, but she wasn’t the kind of friend to blink an eye at my dreams,

so we borrowed some paper and a pen from the bartender, and she smiled that smile the whole time she forced me to write that grant application on the spot, right there in the dark with my smelly beer.

When I got home, I logged on to the new thing called “the internet” then submitted it, unedited, before closing my eyes into yet another night of the life that didn’t quite yet feel like my own.

Three months later, my twenty-one year old bank account was filled with $30,000. Half of it the grant, the other half a loan, also from WESBC, that I somehow qualified for, and I opened up my first business, called Cafe Paradiso.

It was a coffeehouse/bookstore birthed from that tiny sliver of a moment, which bore so much light, the light of possibility, that crowded out the darkness,

then plugged me so deep into the spiritual stamina every single one of us are born with, but so few actually access, because of how dense the dark is, and the subtle awareness it takes to listen, to heed, to not miss such easy-to-miss sign posts like a poster taped to a brick wall that we all walk by, way too fast.

The world is so quiet right now, my Loves! You can hear. You can open up. You can access courage enough to do so.

And when you do, when you open up and tap deep within, when you feel that light coursing within you then allow it to move you, you’ll flex that spiritual stamina for the rest of your life, no matter what goes on around you.

No. Matter. What.

I’m still riding that light today, still flexing that spiritual stamina, at age forty-six, twenty-five years later, as I run a completely different business, mostly online.

Because I’ve learned that business isn’t about whether we have money or not, not at first—business is about how lit up your soul is and whether or not you pay attention to those subtle promptings and do something about them.

No matter how religious you are (or not).

No matter how young you are (or not).

No matter how smelly the beer is, how dark the atmospheric sky, no matter if you have a fiery friend who loves you beyond every human comfort zone with you (or not).

No external circumstance matters. These spiritual resources live inside you. Listening to your nudges, then taking one action at a time, to birth what needs to be birthed on earth, all the way…

💫 even when you’re feeling insecure

💫 even when it’s dark out there

💫 even when you gotta quit school temporarily to make it happen

💫 even when you’re worried about your best friend, and healing from trauma yourself,

or concerned about the state of the world as we all are right now, low level or not —the answers are always within.

Nothing can dim that inner light or close off your access to it—nothing!—unless you let it.

Your inner resourcefulness is yours, for you alone, and it’s untouchable.

Unless you pretend there are no posters…unless you pretend your darkness is worse than anyone else’s…unless you pretend there is no light inside you.

Even answers to challenges like “but where will I find the money?” all start from within.

Deep in that inner field of resources you can either choose to full-tooth smile at, let the words slip out to light up yours and others lives with (we all feel their power in our bones), or you can choose to snuff them out, pretend you’re lacking resources, pretend you don’t have the greatest power possible living right there inside you, and stay in the dark.

Global pandemic or not, it really is up to you.

It’s always up to you.

Now, more than ever, is the time to start mining from within. To tap into that spiritual stamina we were all born with, and ride it like your life and the lives of those around you depend on it, because they do.

I love you!

Gina

PS …doors to my Fully Expressed program are now open! This is an opportunity to write your memoir/slice of life story with me, that will inspire others for time immemorial. Click here to book a call with me or read more detail.

Do It Your Way

FOR MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS WHO’VE BEEN THROUGH INTENSE TRAUMA…

I’ve had Keeping Up with the Kardashians playing in background as I worked in last couple of days.

Of course I had randomly chosen the season when Kim gets PTSD from being robbed at gunpoint in Paris.

That episode grabbed my attention. It was amazing watching firsthand on reality TV what PTSD can do to a life….it was like watching a part of my life, fifteen years ago, being played out on the big screen.

She became reclusive. And exhausted. SO SO EXHAUSTED. She talked about this repeatedly afterward….”I’m so exhausted”…”I’m just so tired”….”I can’t do anything.”

YUP ✅ exactly how I felt when my PTSD symptoms destroyed my life back in 2004 after working on a high profile murder case in my career at the time.

I literally could not continue to work. It was like my body had completely run out of energy, and it felt so clear, deep within me, that my energy wasn’t coming back anytime soon. That there was nothing I could do to speed up the process of getting it back, either.

I had to take time off, to rest like a moFo, and I remember waking up, day after day after day, with no workplace to go to, no appointments booked, yet still completely unable to finish 9/10 of the very basic life-keeping things that I needed to do.

😔 getting up to brush my teeth felt like the biggest chore on the planet
😔 I couldn’t keep on top of bill due dates for the life of me. After years of making great money, winning grants, scholarships, awards, high level specialized positions in my career-I couldn’t do the most basic of tasks anymore.
😔 my heart broke every time I thought of (which was at least 20X a day) my cat needing fresh water and more food but it would have to wait a tiny bit longer. I literally could not move (he did not go without food for longer than 12 hours, to be clear, but it killed me to not be able to get up to just give him fresh water and food whenever I wanted to, like I used to!)

Yes, it was that bad. Trauma can demolish life as we know it, so so thoroughly, then there’s nothing to do but WAIT afterward. For time to heal the burnout, recover the nervous system, rejuvenate and replenish the cells, our hearts, our souls 💫 most of all that sense of feeling safe again.

I was so scared all the time, I felt so unsafe in the world, just like Kim did. I was so confused about why I was always scared too!

None of it made sense. I was a high functioning woman one day, the next I couldn’t even cover the basics, that’s all I knew. This was my life now, for who knew how long.

When Kim gathered courage enough to get on stage in front of a huge audience again, she said it felt like she was being kind of silly before…that really there wasn’t anything to be scared of at all (yet of course she honoured her feelings regardless!)

YUP AGAIN ✅ That sense of not being able to trust, right? Especially ourselves. Because what if something happened again? What if that sense of total disempowerment and near-death stress came to overrule and demolish again?

It’s PTSD messing with us. Yet it’s also part of the natural healing process. Toggling back and forth, to process the feelings that couldn’t be totally felt and processed during the trauma – processing them slowly, all the way through, slowly slowly as we’re ready, chunk by chunk—until there’s space enough inside of us again to breathe, be, trust, have energy to live and function again.

This healing journey is intense, so if you’re at one of the hardest spots, be patient with yourself, Love ❤️ it can feel so counter-intuitive to just rest, and BE with the discombobulated feelings of un-groundedness, un-rest, the intense pockets of emotion flying wayward about us on their own terms, at their own pace, on their own schedule – leaving us with a feeling of having zero control, over anything.

The one thing we can do, is go easy on ourselves. Focus on loving ourselves all the way through, exactly as we would do for someone we love, watching them go through this.

Give yourself your all. Do whatever you can with whatever energy you have right now to feel joy. Sleep as much as you want and need to—and let time do her magic, until you move out of this acute phase and you’re ready to get more proactive in your healing. Maybe even start an online business or hobby, one day, to feel more YOU.

To step back into high-achieving you. Slowly slowly slowly. On your terms, with your laptop in your bed with you as you need to.
Right now is FOR YOU.
Be good to you!
Your joy WILL return, I promise you.
I love you!
XOXO Gina

Where the Power for Success Really Lives

Honestly most of the time NONE OF THIS ENTREPRENEURIAL JOURNEY makes much sense….and it’s not supposed to!

Not when you’re in the thick of big growth!!!

Don’t let so-called successful people fool you about there being a big ass secret you need “in on” to be truly successful.

It’s total BS.

There are no secrets, except what you know in your heart and soul is meant for you, right now.

That’s it!

Mentors, coaches, Healers and any service providers who HOLD BACK thinking they’re gonna “hook you in” with the big thing they’re selling and doing are people to steer good and clear of.

Because the only damn truth when it comes to success is this: YOU FOLLOWING YOUR HEART AND SOUL AND THE IMPULSES EMANATING FROM YOUR INSTINCT showing you what to do next.

That’s it!!!

I can’t, as a Success Mentor, make you wake up and do that every day.

I CAN show you how I do it.

I CAN lend you my faith along the way.

I CAN giggle with you and untangle those knotted thought patterns that block your way.

I CAN let you into my tribe of like-souled women doing life together.

….but the power to succeed is already within you.

Right now!

Whether we ever talk or type to each other or work together in a more formal mentor-mentee capacity, or not.

It’s already inside of you.

Don’t ever forget that.

XOXO
Gina

WHY We Share Our Life Stories

Why do I (and maybe you) feel the need to share our personal healing journeys after trauma?

👌💕 because it’s a normal part of life for me + so much beauty comes from it every day

👌💕because people need to see what’s possible for them

👌💕 because the tools I share make life so much better and easier

👌💕 because trauma is nothing to be ashamed of and I am creating a world where it isn’t

👌💕 because unresolved trauma destroys lives

👌💕 because disempowerment is rampant and the root of all physical, psychological and mental illness

In other words, we do it because WE CAN’T NOT, that’s why!

XOXO
Gina

One Day At A Time, Brave Soul

“Please make me ugly” … this is what I prayed for.

My interpersonal violence trauma happened when I was in modelling school.

As a tween and early teen all I wanted was to be beautiful – it’s how most of us were conditioned in the 80s.

Beauty is everything. Guess jeans make you beautiful. No boy will want you and you’ll never get married until you’re beautiful like “this” (insert any media channel that impacted your idea of what beauty was in your prime development years)

THEN … you go through trauma as I did and suddenly you want the opposite.

Maybe being beautiful wasn’t directly associated with danger for you as it was for me … but it most definitely was associated with BEING FREE, for all of us. However you define that …

Being free to be all of you, whenever, however you want.
Being free to SHINE and attract attention, socially or now on social media or in your business.
And yes, expressing and displaying your most vibrant, wildly alive and healthy physical self to the world.

Trauma shuts this freedom down in us – AND FOR GOOD REASON – to keep us safe.

The biggest challenge is to move our traumatized brains from living in the past, when we were actually unsafe, to living now where it’s safe to be safe. Where we can learn and re-train our organs and nervous system and cellular body receiving signals from that brain still living in the past.

This is our work!
It takes time.
Every day you’re understanding more.
You’re taking another step toward where you want to be, even on days when that step looks like deep rest. Or crying. Or rejuvenating yourself as your system integrates all that you take in on a daily basis.

One day at a time, Brave Soul…
I love you 💜
Gina
@EmpoweredWithGina (on Instagram).

Giving Your Body A Hand While You Heal

GETTING BACK UP AFTER TRAUMA IS NO EASY FEAT … BUT WE DO IT, WE DO IT!!

This is me last week after missing a few days at the gym because I was SO EXHAUSTED!!!

My emotional healing work left me so tired and out of routine, but instead of falling into the trap of “YOURE SO LAZY AND CAN’T STICK TO ANYTHING” mental trap of years yonder,

I gave myself the rest I needed. Told myself it’s ok to get out of the heavy-sweating gym routine for a day or two. That taking extra tender care of myself wouldn’t ruin my momentum.

I rested, then, when I was ready, put one of my fave headbands on then gently stretched and bounced on my yoga ball for a bit and called it movement. Exercise. Empowerment. Because that day, that’s what it was.

And it was MORE THAN ENOUGH. No need to push and hustle and drag my body to the gym to keep up with an external “exercise” standard I once bought into blindly.

I can do it my way, right now. I get to choose to nurture me with movement as I see fit, right now.

Opening up to the most gentle, nourishing energy I could muster for myself (after years of being programmed to push push push hustle hustle hustle GO GO GO!!)

{ Side note: I purposely left in this photo the new doll I bought this month to nourish my Inner Child, because: apprope! Perfect for this post 👌}

The body of your mind and the mind of your body are so intertwined.

So when trauma happens, whether it impacts your heart (emotional self) or your body (physical self) most, they’re both affected, every time.

We can go into freeze mode either way, where we shut down like lizards or frogs playing dead (literally it’s the exact same mechanism at work in our brains) as our brain tries to process trauma.

This processing, when not consciously managed, can go on for years … DECADES in fact…or our entire lives if we don’t get in the driver’s seat of it and lovingly guide our trauma healing process.

Until we understand this whole trauma healing shiz-ness and give our body a hand.

In the most gentle, loving way possible.

Keep on the path…
I love you!
XOXO Gina
@empoweredwithgina on Instagram